We saw his picture right before leaving for a trip. My spouse checked the website every day and he was still there. The morning after we got home we decided to go and meet him.
As we entered the shelter I half worried he would have been adopted that morning. When we walked up to his pen he looked at us like he had been waiting.
"Good, you're finally here."
When they brought him to meet us officially he wiggled and squirmed and treated us like he hadn't seen us in forever. His curled up tail wagged and wagged.
We fell in love.
I don't remember how long ago that was. Subconsciously, I don't think I wanted to keep track. A day? Forever? No amount of time was ever going to be enough.
His name was Gator and he was the most loving and gentle dog I had ever met.
Gator the friendly.
I had never heard of a Puggle before and people told us it was even more rare to see a chocolate one That was G. Always subverting expectations.
He made himself right at home and established his comfortable spot on the bed. From the first night he refused to sleep alone. During the winter his warmth was welcome, even if he did snore like a truck. He hated rain but loved snow so much he would ask to be let out to eat it.
But then, he never seemed to meet a food he would not try. One Halloween I spent the evening at the Emergency Vet waiting for both dogs to have their stomachs emptied after consuming a bag of Fun Size chocolate bars left on the kitchen counter. He was also known to steal pizza and chicken from unwary family, once even shoving my son so he would drop a chicken tender.
Out of concern for his being alone some days, we adopted Eve and though they never seemed to be best friends they did appreciate eachother's company.
Eve the fearless.
Despite her standoffishness they were partners in crime.
A couple of years ago G started showing signs of his age and would sometimes fall over and shake. The vet suggested it might be a brain lesion. He also developed a cough that we could not find a reason for. Eve was also starting to show symptoms of heart disease. When she got excited or exerted herself she would pass out.
My son hoped that Gator would make it to his graduation from High School.
He almost did.
Nearly two weeks ago Eve lay down and stopped breathing. She passed surrounded by family. It was hard to tell if Gator knew what had happened. I also worried about his being alone for extended periods.
A couple of days ago I received a phone message that Gator had collapsed and had a long terrifying seizure. The emergency vet suggested it was time to consider his quality of life.
He wasn't the same. He seemed to have constant small tremors but still he got up to greet me at the door and wag his curled up tail. It was hard to imagine that this happy little guy was suffering.
Then this morning in the dark hours he seized again. The shaking went on forever and when it stopped I saw the fear in his eyes. I knew what was happening but how do you explain that to a dog?
We knew it was time to let him go. To let him suffer was selfish and cruel. This afternoon with the sun shining Gator walked in to the vet's office that we have taken him to countless times.
I was overcome. How do you say goodbye to a friend who was always happy to see you? Who never knew a stranger. How do you tell them that you were going to end their pain and fear?
I had my hand on his heart when the final drug was administered and felt the last beats.
Then he was gone.
I firmly believe that the energy of who we are continues beyond death. I am also certain that the lives we take into our care also continue. I hope that time has no meaning in the next world so that to him we never had a parting.
Having both dogs pass in less than two weeks has been horrible but it gives me some comfort to know that they have each other. I would love to know they are still around and if the phantom cats I see occasionally are any indication, I expect to see them again in this life and then the next.
"I'll expect you when I see you."
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