This time of year it seems that many people are in love with the holidays.
I have never been a huge fan. The only part I liked were the school vacation and hopefully getting whatever thing I was into that year. More often I didn't than did and I knew it was because we were cash-strapped most of my young teen life.
Instead, I find the holidays filled with confusion and anxiety and this year was basically that with travel mixed in.
A few years ago I decided that I could not keep up with all the demands and maintain my sanity. (What little left there is.) I'm sure that I have disappointed a few family and friends by not sending out cards every year. Sorry to those of you who wondered where I had disappeared to or those who thought I didn't like you any more.
The simple change means I enjoy the holiday a little more. I've also started doing my shopping all year. For one, it spreads the expense and for another, I don't have to rush around last minute hunting through crowded stores.
The only issue becomes changing preferences. Something someone liked in February isn't wanted any more or no longer age appropriate by the time December comes back around.
In Ohio the stores are not nearly as busy as they are back in California but being able to avoid the crowds almost completely is well worth it.
Recently, during a trip to see family, I was reminded about how busy those stores can be. Minutes after the store opened there were crowds milling around. I could start to feel the crush of people Eventually, I just needed to get out.
It took a while for me to rebalance and I felt more than a little embarrassed. During those times I also find it hard to speak or put words together in any but the most basic sentences
The trip also drove home the awareness that I could not live in a busy urban location any more. The crush and mass of people is just too much for me.
Guess I'm a country mouse now.
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