Something New Every Day

 It started with a TED Talk about a woman who dealt with anxiety and how she discovered she was autistic. During her talk she spoke about feelings and perceptions I could completely relate to. My curiousity led me to other YouTubers with similarly familiar testimonies. But what made me sit up and take notice was when one person said they felt like an alien and just wanted to go home.

My interest was awakened so I did what I usually do and looked on Google for more information. I limited myself to reputable sites like Mayo Clinic, Royal British Health and another government based system in Australia. 

Then I found the self tests used for diagnostic screening. I must hve taken a dozen different ones and some multiple times. Every one said the same thing. My responses indicated some autistic traits and I might benefit from talking to a medical professional.

It was becomg impossible to ignore the truth. I just might be able to count myself among the millions of people with late diagnosis autism. It certainly explained a great many things about my life up to then.

First I had to dispell the mistaken notions about what autism looks like. Working at a  library I had seen plenty of autistic kids and many had trouble with social interaction and became easily overwhelmed in noisy amd busy environments. But I'm past 50 years old. How could I have made it this far without knowing?

When I took a serious look at my life and what I could point to as autistic traits, It became more and more evident that the akwardness and discomfort I constantly felt were clear indicators. 

I have always felt a bit out of sync with the rest of the world. Now I have a hint why. I just wish I had known sooner. Maybe I could have learned strategies to make life a little easier. At the very least I would have been able to point to neurodiversity as a reason for why I saw things the way I did. It also might have helped with the years of depression, medications, and false diagnoses. 

One psychiatrist labeled me with PTSD and I agreed to a point. A therapist I spoke with seemed to think that the mental road block was something I could will away with awareness of my abilities and positie reinforcement. None of it fit rght until I applied the Autism diiscovery. 

NEXT: What sealed it for me.