Recently I read a TV Guide article about William Petersen's return to the stage during his break from CSI (February 12-18, 2007. p.26) . In it Mr Petersen states, "It's happened to a lot of actors where the further away from the theater you get, the more terrified of it you become". This resonated with me because I believe creative people share this similar fear no matter what profession.
I have personally experienced a fear of getting back into publishing after my copyright problems of a few years ago. There was even a time when I didn't think I would do another commissioned piece ever again. But then I realized that I love what I do and in the end I would create regardless of the pay level.
I think that the experience has instilled a need in me to create to get past the problem.
There is also a part of me that does not want to loose the fight. But it is also more than the copyright battle that I would loose. Art has been an important part of my life for as long as I can remember. Allowing what it represents to me to be destroyed would only destroy my spirit. I have no doubt that the infringers will find a new way to exploit the work of others but I now know what I need to do to protect myself.
The character of Grissom in CSI represents a figure of integrity for me and hearing that the actor who portrays him challenged himself to do something he feared inspired me as well. In the same way I have been challenging myself to take on a project that I have had simmering for several years. I am not going to reveal the project right now but from time to time I may post a sketch or finished piece.
Suffice to say it is something I have been afraid to do but when it's finished I feel like the result will be a big mental boost.
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